A decade of decadance

She was thirty and thirsty

Living in the city of her dreams

Loving her girl out loud

A bit too much, if you asked the crowd

Working a job that took her to far places

Meeting and barely seeing all the new faces

Giving it away at every turn

Leaving her with nothing left to burn

The years flew by

The glittering parties and expensive tabs

The black out nights and guilty mornings

From one low to the next big high

Loving, hating, watching, waiting

Finding the others just in time

Walking away from the waiting line

Letting love come back in again

And this time keeping it for herself

She found her ground and stood strong

The years flew by

She was thirty five and back in love

Leaving the city with her heart in her hand

Driving away with hope in demand

Looking for dreams without a plan

Searching for mountains to climb

And new was fine for a time

But heartache found her

Through death and depression

Sitting alone in stillness

Waiting for inspiration

The years flew by

Now she is forty and fortunate

The next set of dreams

Have called her name

Filled her mind with possibility

Dreams that could only happen here

Where she has been doubting she belonged

She knows now what to do

Dragon

In my darkness I seek light

It used to come everywhere with me

Shinning bright for all to see

Giving guidance down the path

Creating hope for those with me

It spilled from my eyes into the world

Keeping us safe 

But now this darkness sits over me

I cannot shake it  or run from it 

So I sit with it as it lingers over me

Month after month

Sucking my joy away 

Hoping he will fly off soon  

Dull

My mom died.
My mom died.
My mom died.

These words keep running through my head.
When I open my eyes in the morning
when I am looking out the window
when I am standing in the shower
when I hear a song in the grocery store.

The feeling of loss drives down upon me
And I miss you
I miss you in a way that is hard to describe
I feel so  alone.
So alone without you on this earth with me
Hoping for me, fighting for me, shining your light on me

I always knew I was your person.
The person you wanted to be around.
The person you loved so much.
The person you wanted to talk to when you were lonely.
I knew I was that person for you

I did not realize you were my person too
The person I could call when I felt alone
The person who always told me if life falls apart you have a place to come home to.
The person who could tell from the tone of my voice if I was sick or scared or happy.

Now that you are gone
The world feels harsher
I have less faith that things will be ok
Less faith the world is good
I feel scared of what could happen next
Where my path will lead when it falls apart
I have lost my shine.
My ability to see the good
To push out positive
energy to those around me.

I am dull now.
Hurt.
Empty
Sad
Spent
Nothing left to give.

I'm Free

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I head Him call,
I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way,
I found that place at the close of day.

If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,
Ah yes, these things, I too, will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I savored much,
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me,
God wanted me now, He set me free.

 

Author Unknown

For My Mom

Tribe

Colorado View

This is the view from our first apartment in Colorado. Mountains and sunsets. It has been a long ten months. Leaving New York was harder than I ever imagined. I thought here I would find the peace I longed for. Instead my heart has been restless and sad and challenged. But I am growing. And I am changing. And that is what my life needed more than peace.

Gone girl

You gave up

Too many questions

within your soul

Too much sadness

for you to control

This life I cherish

This life I fight for

This beautiful crazy life.....

Was too much for you

Filled with sadness

you could not shake

Tears flow

Down my face

I saw darkness

In your eyes

But did not know

There was no time

Rest now my friend

Without your sorrow

You left us here

with no explanation

to borrow

Looking forward to going to see P!nk at MSG on Friday Night!

Thank you for the memories NOLA.