Where it all starts for 2009

YEP WE WILL BE THERE GETTING READY FOR ALL THAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE UPCOMING YEAR AND SAYING GOODBYE TO ALL THE DRAMA OF 2008!

And the snow came down

Last minute shopping is rough to do in a snow storm... but New Yorkers are tough and there are still people everywhere... be careful out there!

Rocking out in NYC

My favorite part of living in NYC is the last minute "What are you doing tonight?" call. It happened last night.. I caught the begining of Mike Krum, who sounded great and played a killer new song to start things off... then headed over to meet Emi at the Garden where we had great seats and rocked out to OASIS. Show was a little short and not as loud as we like it but they sang all the favorites and we had a blast! Back beat the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out

MIKE KRUM - MERCURY LOUNGE

Me and some of the girls are headed out to enjoy some live music and support our boy Mike Krum tonight. He is a very talented guy.... join us early show $10.

My way

Where do I start

Or maybe how

Was never scared to live

Like it was the end

the only day

we could ever be

Give it all

Smiling

Stumbling over

Unknown paths

learning to do it

better with less

Craziness

Don't think

I don't care

It's just my style

My choices are not always

what you define

as good

your wrong

is often my right

Gotta make these moves

Until I find my way

Hold your judgement

For I will let you be

Just as you were meant

Now how do I begin

this story to be told

all or part or maybe

just a poem

Party Girl

I've been standing in the fire

Spinning round in cirlces

howling at the moon

I've been chasing dragon's

Searching for the darkness

all over the world

Knocking over bottles

Cashing in checks

yelling in the streets

Trying to calm the rage

Trying to numb the pain

Woke up in an ambulance

A dark hotel room

abandon car in the woods

On the floor of a bathroom

In another city

not sure where to exist

How we are even still here

My party girl will not leave

Stays till the last drink

She's crying on the bar

And I can't remember

Which way to send her home

Color Globe

Go with me

Beyond the matter here

A grey sky

that pushes down

Find your light

add it to mine

Shoulder to shoulder

the world will

look brighter

We all need

Somebody

To be there

To understand

who we are

in our hearts

where we are

in our minds

How to pick us up

Wake us up

Shake up the colors

Show us the true world

YES WE CAN

Out of many
We are One
That while we breathe
We Hope

And where we are met with cynicism and doubts
And those who tell us that we can't
We will respond with that timeless creed
That sums up the spirit of a people:

YES WE CAN

Thank you
God bless you
And may God bless the United States of America.

BARACK OBAMA
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

Think Light

It's up to you

To overcome

the darkness

that threatens

all you've worked for

this life

you've built

Don't be surprised

It will come quickly

to sink your smiles

Slouch your shoulders

take your light

Resist giving in

giving up

Know what helps you

keep the darkness

at bay

Infinite sadness

or happiness within

these are the choices

so wake up each day

and light up your soul

Glow

Glad for you

Nothing better

Your lit up

Love in ur voice

Captivated

As it should be

Strange to see

To hear

her name

Spoken with more

reverance than mine

I must admit

Envy is not my word

It was easier before

to smile at you

to laugh with you

no longer your go to

someone else

will be with you

Distance equal's loss

for we will drift

as was meant to be

I am not yours

you are not mine

Keep your light

where I can see it

Balanced in the sky

Far from me

Road Less

You make it a struggle

to be myself

Always testing what I say

The choices I have made

Your opinion

is not needed

I am not like you

You are frightened

cause there is no road

And I say good

this life

these views

give me what I need

to hold on

Never wanted

Anything but

freedom

To do what comes next

Feel my own thoughts

Write my own words

Creating space

between your judgement

and my heart

Sprinklers

Sunshine Summertime

that girl is fine

Spin in the streets

Shout for freedom

Laugh till you can't breathe

Walk in anywhere

Own the place

Keep a smile

on that beautiful face

Pick it up

Keep it positive

Change your thoughts

Give yourself a chance

to love

to succeed

to find happiness

Stop waiting to live

Find what gives you peace

And hold onto it

Walk Proud

Somedays I am surprised

to find these fears

exist within myself

Not the distance between

her body and mine

Other times these thoughts are solid

there is no space no place

My heart is not so strong as I say

These walls are painted with smiles

Much more fragile than I even know

Walking proud has lead me

to this hopeful place

With so much to loose

Somedays I don't trust here

Or there or me or you

the only cure for me

is more love

Duel Hearts

I know you

Who you are and want to be

Who you were before

I know how you make your moves

The tone of your voice before you speak

The look in your eyes when you see

I know what makes you happy

What little things can bring you joy

How real you make each moment seem

I feel when you are close

But remind myself what it's like

When you disappear

I am in front of you now and can see

When you will stay and when you will go

Biding your time

I am your distraction

A place for your soul to rest

I stand here holding you

My hands tied with my heart

Seeing no one else pass me by

You watch and smile at them all

Looking for something more

I know if I hold too tight

You will push me away

I am stuck here

You go on

Without a backward glance

I know you

Your broken heart will shatter

What is left of mine

Empty Case

I'm always

how you need

here there anywhere

give my all

put a smile on her face

give that heart reason

find peace in a soul

never too much to ask

Case comes natural

give to you

perplexes some

not enough

for you plus me

dead end road

stop sign turns

back the same way

silence still

my heart and your sorrows

left here with me

cargo too hold

precious nothing

how could i think

your needing me

meant i could need you

never knew or recognized

you would send me

Back out on my own

not knowing i was gone

never crossed my mind

feel a little insane

this you me all

Empty

Light the dark

Can you still hear me

At night in the dark

what I would say

the way my lips would move

the emotion through which

my story was told

holding up your truth

To mold these convictions

and allow myself

that I was meant to be

right there with you

that my love could

keep us safe

make it real

open your eyes

to light the dark

but in this silence

you are fading in

front of me

blowing away

with all that light

laughing and kissing

goodnight

On my way home

closer to the truth now

my heart speaks to me

I will take both

the light and the dark

Up to Now

February 1, 2008 - Friday

I’ve known

I've known sand filled beaches

and orange red skys

I've traveled through crowded streets

and stood on top of buildings

I've seen people with nothing smile

and those with everything cry

I've left all that I knew

to find more of myself

I've gone through losses

that would break most

I've known friendships that lasted a minute

and friendships that will exist forever

I've known winters too cold

and summers hot as hell

I've loved too hard

and been heartbroken

loved too little

and let others down

I've drank to the bottom of the bottle

and found it was not the only thing empty

I've stood on the edge of a cliff

and found a way to get down

I've been on the outside looking in

and then on the inside fighting

to get out

I've faced my fears

and found peace in my soul

I've given so much to some people

and barely anything at all to others

I've thought about giving up

then had the sun shine directly in my eyes

I've laughed more than I've cried

I've had many more good days than bad

I've been blessed

January 3, 2008 - Thursday

illumination

These thoughts are mine

It is up to me for them to be

I choose light over dark

Joy instead of heartache

A smile with each step

I walk alone but with many

There is no end in sight

Only vision of the road ahead

Is it me or you that brings us here

Fire and light can only be seen

If held in the right direction

Never backward always forward

In the shadows are those

who wait for us to fail

But this journey is mine

If you want to come along

Turn the light ahead

And help me lead the way

October 24, 2007 - Wednesday

hard rocks

When you are here with me

I can feel your heart beat

Taste your breath upon my neck

Your fingers in my hair

Know your lips upon my eyes

But when you are gone

The space between us

Grows with every day

You build up walls

To keep me out

Or to keep you in

I'm spinning round

Trying to reach you

Never the first nor the last

A little here and a little there

Just like waves crashing

I keep throwing myself

Hard against the rocks

Not wanting it to be over

My heart is caught there

And your indifference

Has me struggling

September 2, 2007 - Sunday

keep this

I want to meet with your mind

Get inside and see what moves you

Tugs at your soul

Opens and closes the doors

Where do I get in

Come on now and try to let me

Climb some walls for me baby

Pushing you over the edge

Levels jumping around

Touch me way down deep and

Give me something

I can fucking keep

Make it worth my time

Give me your smiles your moments

Fire it up in those eyes

Take out a little bit of hope

Leave it here with me

Fighting for your grind

Stand next to me in the street

In all the places you call yours

Pull them together with me

Put your trust in a thing called us

April 27, 2007 - Friday

without

I move with you

in you through you

under you

without you

looking back at the

scattered moments

you and me

memories dancing

feeling my heart beat

and my breath catch

then you are walking

and I am left tumbling

You build me up and

then break me down

I recover and move away

but you keep drawing me back

Wanting more time

when do you know

if the fire will burn you

or give you everything you need

this feeling is strong

trying to get past it

move around it

ignore it

or maybe I am just

waiting for it

You are here but not

reaching out and pulling back

you surround me

as you leave me on the floor

May 6, 2006 - Saturday

music for the way

Hold in the need

your thoughts are words

Tread with light steps

Under the bridge

increase your speed

Silence rings in the air

but not in your ears

Torn up sheets

and brokedown beats

how many lights red then green

Toast your friends

and hold them close

Spill a few drinks

palm trees and benches

Put it down then turn around

enjoy the view

Maybe its in the lights

or the smoke from your cigarette

the wind will take it away

Beware of the crack that catches your heel

running down the walk

narrow streets and strangers

danger whispers with a voice

memory's of laughter

bring a quick smile

Lazy summer in the sand

feel the concrete below your feet

in a day then the night

Travel a few hours

bring a new number

throw back some soul

Along for the show

April 17, 2006 - Monday

wanderer

Back in my corner of the world

Stare down upon the stretching lights

Wonder if this is the right place

If I am in the right waiting line

Gaze ahead at recycled days

Restlessness moves my soul

Plan a trip that comes and goes

Settle down in this life

Or sell it all and search for awhile

Something new somewhere sunny

Keep these dreams or look for more

Know somedays the light is here

but others bring pain from the crowds

I am good for now

Seems to be the only answer I find

What do I want with these years

Is it real, will it last

If not my eyes will be much older

And I may have lost this need

To search to create to find

To laugh out loud and

re-tell a story

but a whisper says

put in the time to make a life

or there will be no home

to call your own

January 6, 2006 - Friday

soul coughing

sit in silence on the couch

flick the lighter till it works

bloodshot eyes see no glory

fill your lungs till it hurts

wait for the smoke to hit you right

Distant emotion is justified

look up the street and then down

figure out the way to go

pick it up and hold it close

wasted moments turn to years

let the smoke surround you

cough out the memory

hobby turned to habit

fight to be above the struggle

instead your soul is down

so you close your eyes

to the early warning light

March 27, 2006 - Monday

southern shore

Go back to the place before

roll down the windows and turn up the music

look for the things you used to know

the places you used to go

sit on the beach and soak in the sun

run your fingers through the sand

wait for the feeling to come

drive along your old streets

Watching the ghost of yourself

and those you used to know

memories of a different life

smile at the people with familiar faces

running through the same conversations

wait for the feeling to come

Say goodbye and fly away

stare out the window of the plane

watch the swamp turn to ocean

letting go of what was

take the long way to Now

walk through the busy streets

feel the peace in your heart

there is no going back

for home is no longer

on a southern shore

March 20, 2006 - Monday

design

Her life was torn before

the fabric running back

was filled with burns and holes

Dreams balanced slipping through

The ashes that fell from those around

and then from her own hand

left her barely hanging on

Erasing the unhappiness

with a mind fading to black

The stitching started

with someone

who cared enough to see the damage

Tough enough to offer a choice

take it or leave it

and she reached out

The fabric warped with scars

grew stronger with each stitch

and though the design was

woven by chaos

It grew steady enough

to hold up her life

and the hopes of those who loved her

March 9, 2006 - Thursday

city life

Traveling light

through these crowded streets

jumping over puddles

trying to catch the time

Making wrong turns and

ending up in new places

filled with so many unfamiliar faces

Play a song on the jukebox and

stay until they ask you not to go

Chase the sun that filters

down through the buildings

Search for some warmth

Lean into a strangers conversation

but keep your opinion to your self

Below you graffiti clad walls

stretch away from the city

Escape somedays to tree lined roads

and waves in the ocean

but as the skyline looms before you

Hold onto the excitment

as you journey down the path ahead

March 4, 2006 - Saturday

cold

cement floor painted grey

four walls surrounding you

locked inside

no future to look forward to

only a past to replay

regret seeping through your bones

wishing for mail

praying to turn back the pages

but no one is left to hear

the sound of angry voices

and hopeless people echo

through the long corridor

same routine day in and out

trying to get stronger with no books

just weights and people who push

a life you loath down your throat

how did it turn out this way

you ask yourself as you lay in the dark

on a mattress that offers no comfort

never seeing the smiles of your last love

he grows up only knowing the story

of you and of him

the friends you had left long ago

confused with cloudy thoughts

too sad for them to bear

memory's are pushed into the black

and its like you were never here

For this life cannot be given back

once it has gone cold

January 23, 2006 - Monday

honestly

Within this heart lies an area of grey

Where did you go - what did you do

Have you become a shifted memory

instead of someone real

Did I switch it in my mind

purposely leaving you behind.

Am I honest when I think of you

Fighting then loving

Hating then running

Going back in total denial.

I stopped asking what I wanted for me

Hoping to be what you wanted for you.

Pushing through your unfaithfulness

Confessing a need for me that echoes

the voice inside my head.

Confused I reach for you

and can't let go

On the edge

holding my breath

not moving forward

Trapped inside

An us that is choking

The person I wanted to be

no longer looking in the mirror

December 26, 2005 - Monday

Here with me

And then you were there

breathing the same air as me

You held my heart in your hand

and I tried to let you know

With a smile and a whisper

I moved my fingers across your forehead

And the look in your eyes

twisted the hope in my chest

Let me be with you in the

early morning light

Without fear or selfishness or regret

For I have traveled through this life alone

and to have you here with me

takes my breath away